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The day of the surgery came and went and it’s now just over a week since I got the operation for my upper jaw expansion.

The first couple of days were not without their trying moments. One of the toughest parts is first waking up from the surgery. The surgeon warned me ahead of time of some of the challenges I would be facing but they always sound tame until you have to actually undergo them. One is the constant stream of nose bleeding that lasted well up to two days. Sleeping was my only respite and sleep I did for a full two days without eating. As you can imagine that will easily render one pretty weak by the time you do try and get up. My first attempt at getting up was quickly forced to a halt when I blacked out for the first time in my life and was well on my way to hitting the floor but not before Ty got a chance to catch me! That’s my man :)

The other tough part comes later on when the reality of my situation started to sink in a little more. One I have to stick to eating soft foods for the next 6 months until the bone has repaired itself. For those who know me well, not being able to eat like I normally do is a huge deal. It had barely been a week of eating pureed foods and I was already dreaming about bitting into a crunchy piece of toast!

Then there’s the growing space between my two front teeth. My orthodontist needs me to turn the key on my expander one to two times a day for a month to create a 5 millimeter gap. The surgeon already made 20 turns on the expander during my operation once he created the fracture in my palate. My orthodontist needs to see that gap to make sure he has the room he needs to straighten my teeth when it comes time for the braces once the expander is off.

I’m writing from the cottage and I can’t say I’m looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Most of the swelling is gone and I currently have a 4 millimeter gap between my two front teeth (they are moving a lot faster than scheduled) but I still feel like hiding away in a hole.

I got my appliance in. I was brave at first, taking it all in stride until I got home and I tried eating my first meal. What a nightmare! Sure it sounds like I’m exaggerating but for someone who loves food as much as I do this is probably one of the worst offenses I’ve had to endure. With this new intrusion in my mouth, basically a metal retainer that’s glued to the top of my palate just the simple act of chewing and swallowing my food has become a painstaking process.

That night I tossed and turned in bed. I dreaded what the next 9 months would be like with this new appliance handcuffed to the inside of my mouth. I couldn’t picture myself ever being able to get used to it. I started to freak out. It may well have been the closest I’d ever been to experiencing a panic attack. I could put a halt to this all right now, cancel the surgery and the braces I thought to myself and be done with it. So what, I have to have gum surgery for the rest of my life – Anything is better than having to deal with this hell! But then I reasoned that I had come this far with the process and I knew that it was the best decision for me so I had to stick with it.

Next thing I knew it was morning. I actually managed to fall asleep somehow. Things didn’t seem so horrible anymore, maybe I just had a chance to get over the initial fear of it all. I can’t say that I’m feeling completely at ease but I’m at least starting to get used to it. And that’s a good step forward since the worst is yet to come with my surgery around the corner.

Here are some photos to give you an idea of what the appliance in my mouth looks like. The expander is much like a retainer except that its fused to my palate. I will have to keep it in my mouth for six to nine months after the surgery which is coming up very soon.